My baby is more hardcore than you are

When you become a parent, people wrongly assume that your life slows right down and you enter a downward spiral of diaper changes and baby talk. I’m here to set the record straight, because having a baby is like reliving your younger years and they should be considered the ultimate party animals.

When was the last time you pulled an all-nighter, or were up at 4am? Have a baby and you too can rule the evening hours like no-one’s business. (Same goes for napping on the couch in the middle of the day).

Have you ever left the house only to realize you have an article of clothing on backwards/inside out? You’ve either had quite the night, or you my friend, have a baby.

Band t-shirts? Check

Air guitar lessons start early

Air guitar lessons start early

If you scream at people for not giving you what you want, when you want it you’re a jerk. Babies can totally get away with it.

Drinking until you throw up – our baby has got that one covered. Like a teenage cliche, he’s also obsessed with breasts and laughs at his own farts.

In University your meals consist of takeout pretty consistently. Yesterday when I called to order pizza they asked if we wanted “the usual” with just the slightest hint of pity.

Speaking of food if your breakfast consists of three courses, all of them coffee, either good luck staying awake at work after attending that cool new club opening or congratulations on your new infant.

Thank you Harrison, for making us feel young again and 50 years older all at the same time.

We love partying with you.

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